Julie, our fabulous Senior Nursery Officer from Cooke Room provides us with some valuable advice relating to children's behaviour and explores the myth of the perfectly behaved child. Children need to push boundaries in order to help them distinguish wrong from right; let's find out more.
At Rebecca Cheetham Nursery we believe that a perfectly behaved child — for most parents — is unrealistic.
Especially if, your child does not understand the how, what and why of what is expected of them.
Children express themselves in a range of different ways and this could be due to frustration and being unable to communicate their thoughts and feelings.
If your child’s behaviour is making things difficult for you or your family, you may want to consider implementing some changes.
And the best place to start is at home.
- Make expectations explicitly clear.
It doesn’t have to be complicated, just simple, clear directions like:
Its lunch time, please tidy your toys!
Once you have eaten your dinner, then you can choose your dessert!
After the shower, its bedtime!
If you have asked them a question, wait for few seconds for them to process your question; they might not be responding as they are trying to work out what to say. If they are unclear, ask them same question again. Using the same words, try not to change the words
Clear expectations mean less questioning and simple sentences, which is good for the children, and great for parents!
And in that vein…
- Be CONSISTENT.
While adults are expected to adapt and re-prioritise throughout the day, it’s not realistic to expect kids to do the same.
They will struggle with the mixed messages, and be more likely to question why they’re expected to do things.
Consistency, also helps children to feel secure and confident, in their surroundings, and in themselves.
It is always very important that you always bend down to your child level before you talk to them, making sure you have a clear and calm voice.
A routine makes it easier for parents to follow through with the own rules that they’ve set for themselves and for the rest of the family.
It also helps children to feel safe in the reliability and security of home life and school.
It’s so important to talk openly, honestly and often with your child.
The fact that it will encourage better behaviour from them is just a bonus.
Easily add communication time to your routine by making no screen time zones during meals , car trips or bed times.
A great way to reward your child is to give positive praise and comment on what they have done e.g
I like the way you done this today.
I like the way you have helped.
I like the way you have helped your sister or brother.
Bought gifts or toys to reward good behaviour will never be long lasting and the demands for a physical reward will only grow bigger and more expensive.